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pain

life lately

Posted in Living, Personal by

life lately

 

Happy Friday, everyone!

I haven’t really done a real talk life check-in post lately. This felt like a pretty appropriate time for one.

good

Since our pool opened on Memorial Day, I’ve devoted approximately 48 hours of my life to it. Sometimes it includes tequila, sometimes it includes books, sometimes it includes a friend. I’ve finished three books since it opened – that’s two more than I’ve read the rest of the year.

Speaking of Memorial Day, I went on a quick vacation with my cousins down to the condo in Gatlinburg. I got horribly sunburned, and look forward to going back with the rest of the fam in August (with much more SPF in tow.)

I went to see The Fault in Our Stars at an advanced screening. Yes, that’s a new box of Kleenex in the photo above. Highly highly recommend it (but even more, recommend staying spoiler-free and reading the novel first, of course.)

lessthangood

Other than that, my life has been fairly boring and a lot of the same, to be honest. I went to trivia this past week, but I wasn’t the best company or competitor. There’s been so much swimming around in my head lately (do I want to move? Yes, I have to move. Do I want to move and take a plunge without a sure job?) It’s been full of things of this nature almost constantly lately. If I’m not actively working on job applications, I’m thinking about companies in the regions I hope to move to and wondering if they have any openings. I’ve narrowed the field to two different places (even though my heart lies in Los Angeles, it’s not one of the contenders), and both have pros and cons. It might come down to wherever I get an offer first… or whatever seems cheaper at the end of summer, since I kind of gave myself a goal of having a new plan by Labor Day. It just feels like all the struggle I’m going through has to be for something, I must just be too close to it yet to see what it is.

My local social life continues to be non-existent.

And to top it all off, I went to the doctor this week after a couple months of increasingly severe knee pain (to the point where it hurts to even sit at my desk with my legs bent all day), only to be told I have patellofemoral pain syndrome, but after 6-8 weeks of physical therapy, I should be able to work out again. (Not to mention that the nearest PT office my insurance accepts is an hour away, and $40 a visit.) And on top of that, my tendinitis is getting worse and I’m in almost constant pain from that. My body is falling apart and it’s so frustrating. I understand why House popped vicodin like they were candy.

It is one-hundred-million percent likely that this is a midlife crisis. I’m trying to stay positive and keep my head up, but that is of course much easier said than done. I will just keep referencing Shonda Rhimes’ recent commencement address and keep on keepin’ on.

What’s your best way to cope with hurdles?

June 13, 2014
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Deny, Deny, Deny

Posted in Living, Personal, Work Out by

Even though I have been running for over a year and am training for my first triathlon, I still don’t think of myself as an athlete. Or at least, I didn’t until last week. Sure, I’m competitive, but not overly so. I love training and running, and while I do tend to build my weeks around workouts, I never thought it would feel overly earth-shattering if I had to take a break.

Turns out, it is kind of earth-shattering.

Sometime in mid-December, I was feeling a twinge in my knee. I just figured it was runner’s knee (even though, at the time, I was focusing much more on lifting and cross-training). Since it wasn’t constant and was never uncomfortable enough for me to stop, I didn’t pay a lot of attention to it, just pretended it wasn’t there. I taped both knees up for Tink (as I always do during races) and it was fine. When I came back and started doing my BodyPUMP classes (2-3 times a week), the pain was finally unbearable. It got so bad that I actually had to leave during last Monday’s class, and I haven’t been back to the gym since.

ice for knee pain

This is my life now.

I have a race this weekend, and even though I don’t typically feel the pain while running, I’m still scared. The plan was to go back today to my favorite BodySTEP class, but I’m nervous even of that now. The physical therapy exercises my doctor gave me are helping a little, but the pain got worse after I went in to see her. It’s just so frustrating to not be able to do something I want so badly to do. After years as a lazy couch potato, I finally just want to work out, and my body isn’t cooperating.

Yesterday, I was sitting in the bathroom on the phone with Sixx. I heard someone run past outside, doing laps around the concourse, and I just lost it.

So here I sit with ice on my knees, extra-large bottle of Ibuprofen at hand, just hoping for the best when I try to go to the gym tonight.

February 12, 2014
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