Hello strangers, it’s been awhile.
I’ve half been busy living my life (I’m dating! Go figure!) and half been too embarrassed to write.
Honestly – I’ve been a sloth. I’ve been struggling with depression. I haven’t been sleeping. I’ve been struggling with eating (or not eating.) I haven’t been putting in the work, and I think it’s really messing up my mind. As good as you think you are, and as solid as you might be in your recovery, this month has really shaken me and shown me that something can happen and prove you wrong anytime. I can’t even pinpoint what it was. Maybe it was the re-breakup. Maybe it’s the weather or that person who cut me off in traffic two weeks ago or maybe it was stubbing my toe on Friday. Maybe the overwhelming feeling of dating is getting the best of me – I’m not sure. All I know is that I’ve been miserable lately, and I’m still not at the part of misery where I can make myself work the plan that I know makes me feel better. I’m close, but I’m probably not there yet. I need another few days in bed. It’s not glamorous, but I hate when bloggers try to sugarcoat things. Depression is real and it’s ugly, but you can fight it. I’m trying to fight it. I want to be an example.
Despite how I’ve been feeling, I’m trying to live my life. I’ve made it to the gym a few times. I’m dating a new guy. (Dating is expensive you guys, I didn’t know.)
With any luck, I’ll be back to regularly scheduled programming shortly.