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Humour

Pancakes: an #adulting primer

Posted in Food, Humour by

Growing up, I LOVED pancakes. I remember every Saturday morning my mom would make stacks and stacks of them in our tiny kitchen and I would eat and eat them until I couldn’t eat any more. Even now, my favorite weekend in-home brunch is to cook up some pancakes and brew a pot of coffee and curl up in front of the DVR.

There’s a popular spot in Nashville called Pancake Pantry that is so popular that people line up for hours to get a table, and I had friends in town over the weekend who are big fans so on Sunday morning I bundled up and we waited for an hour before we were seated and served with menus.

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Poor service aside, I was really not impressed with my pancakes. I didn’t say anything to them because the were all gloriously happy, but they didn’t taste any different than the box of Kroger pancakes I cook up at home.

At work the next day I told my co-workers, who had suggested going to Pancake Pantry a few weeks ago with Sixx, that I went and wasn’t crazy about it. Mouths agape, we started talking about pancakes and what makes a good pancake when almost everyone said the same thing to me: perhaps the real draw to Pancake Pantry for them is that they don’t know how to make their own pancakes.

This time I was in disbelief as they all started to tell me where their cakes went wrong. “One side is always burned!” “I cut into it and it’s still runny.” “When I pour it into the pan, it just spreads all over the whole thing.”

I started troubleshooting one by one and it occurred to me that maybe it would be good to provide a primer on the art of pancake making.

  • If your batter runs all over the pan: you have used too much water. Add more pancake mix, thicken it up, and enjoy your feast.
  • If one side of your pancake burns, your pan or griddle is too hot. Adjust the temperature down. Enjoy pancake bliss.
  • If your pancake is runny after cooking, you didn’t cook it long enough, dummy. Cook longer.

And that, my friends, is how to pancake.

October 13, 2014
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#GuiltyTotalSocial: Some of My Guilty Pleasures!

Posted in Humour by
#TotalSocial / #GuiltyTotalSocial

See, here’s the thing. None of my pleasures are really “guilty” – I own all of them without shame or irony. This could be a list, though, of things I should be embarrassed of… I just haven’t found the ability to care!

Ohio State. I am a diehard Michigander. I love everything about my state… except that stupid blue and yellow school. I’m a Michigan State girl at heart, but Ohio State is a close second. Thanksgiving is always a fun time in our house – it’s me and my cousin, an Ohio native, vs. the rest of our family. Guess who usually ends up on top… (Ann Arbor is still a whore.)

the ohio state university

Relatedly, Snuggies. You might think they are a joke, but my friend, they are not a joke. They have solved all of my body heat regulation problems. When I sleep, my upper body freezes, while my legs are always roasting, without fail. The Snuggie allows me to keep my top toasty and gives my legs room to breathe. Plus I can finally sit on the couch, get snugged up, and get work done. Problem solving at its finest! (I have six. They have been known to live in my car, at Sixx’s, and at my workplaces.) And if you are judging me, you have never tried one.

snuggie

YA Books: I don’t care what anyone says, I love YA books. They are quick reads, usually very interesting, and for the most part (the ones I read, anyway,) are not parts of series. I’m starting to branch out more into New Adult novels as well, but I like the idea that I can sit down and have a book finished in two days. Or, if it’s any John Green novel except Katherines, I can have it done in one night. (Paper Towns and The Fault In Our Stars both caused me to be very exhausted at work the following day.) I really liked this Tumblr post on why we should not feel guilty about liking YA.

books

Dog the Bounty Hunter. I love Dog and Beth and after their A&E series was cancelled, I was so happy that CMT picked them up. (And even happier now that I have cable and can actually, you know, watch it.) The first thing I did when my cable was finally hooked up was set a series recording for their shows. I can’t explain why I love them, I just do. Also, I think I’d make a great bounty hunter. #HireMeDog.

dog

What are your guilty pleasures?

August 19, 2014
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3 Easy Steps to Minimalism

Posted in Humour, Living by

I’ve been meaning to become more minimalist in my life for the last couple years. When you have a mobile lifestyle and move every year, it makes sense to live by less is more. But this move, more than any other (even more than my original move down to Virginia) is really testing me and forcing me to purge. Here are three easy steps you can follow to learn from my new move-imposed minimalism!

  1. Hit a deer with your car and drive it back to your parents house to be fixed. Load up your car with your last-priority “stuff” that you haven’t used in months (or if ever) in your current pad. Be excited, because you’re taking back a car slightly larger than what you originally rode down in so you can bring more things with you!
  2. Go to a conference in your new city, and half-assedly pack up your car and drop some things off to store at your friend’s house. This is the “second in command” trip – things you use, maybe not every day and not immediately, but things you’ll need in your new house.
  3. Assemble your A-list possessions the weekend before you move and have a complete meltdown as you slowly begin to realize that not everything is going to fit in your car, no matter how much bigger it is. Move boxes into your car in order of importance and try not to panic as you realize you’ll probably have to part with that great little black dress you never got to wore, or your hair dryer (which should have been replaced months ago because the motor sucks your long hair into it,) or the ten plain white tank tops that should go anyway because they’re old, stretched, and stained. Slowly reconcile that you’re losing and no matter how prepared you thought you were for your move this time, you are and were not.

So there you go! Three easy steps to becoming a minimalist.

I know that this isn’t the worst thing and that downsizing is good. I had just hoped to make it to Nashville with at least one piece of furniture in tow (my club chair, which I should have in retrospect brought down to Sixx’s last week) and enough groceries to get through at least my first week there.

July 31, 2014
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“What Successful People do at Lunch”

Posted in Humour, Living by

I read a lot of articles about “successful” people, or tips and tricks for job hunts, or just general advice on how to advance in your career, and I’m a sucker for listicles. So when I saw a link for an article on 13 Things Successful People Do During Their Lunch Hour, I clicked. For whatever reason, this article today made me lose my mind a little.

Over my lunch break, I’m sure I do 13 things: refill my water bottle, eat, watch Netflix, refresh my email 18 times, consult my planner, blog a little… I balance productivity with trying to focus on and enjoy what I’m eating. Conservatively, though, I definitely do 12 other things in that hour “break” of lunch (including continuing to work.) So when I read this article (at my desk, over my lunch break) it left me with one glaring question:

lunch

Plan your day with lunch in mind: alright, I can do this! I spend the better part of my morning thinking about food anyway, so this is a Can Do for me. Check.

Get up and get out and network: well, alright. I imagine successful people go to networking lunches at least once a week. I don’t know of any here, so count me out on this one (plus I like sitting at my desk, watching Netflix to drop out, and eating the sad little frozen lunch I brought from home.)

These people get organized at lunch: I do this too, but wait, aren’t they supposed to be out and about and socializing? How are they sticking their noses in their planners and organizing while they’re supposed to be attentive and networking?

Take the time to eat: if by “enjoy every second of the seven minutes it takes me to eat my Trader Joe’s frozen garden vegetable lasagna, including the time it takes to cool down after I overcook it in the microwave,” yes, I take the time! I’m seriously bad at slowing down any time I eat (which is ironic since I feel like a slow eater.) Oops.

But also go work out: okay so while we are enjoying our food at the networking lunch and managing our schedules for the next week, we are also supposed to be on a treadmill. GOT IT. Only six bulletpoints in, and this is already taking my entire day, not including the shower I’d need to head back to the office post-work-out.

The article goes on from there, giving you seven more tasks to help you realize what a failure you are because you’re only one person with one body. I realize that the article is meant to be helpful and not taken completely literally, but the way it (and many other articles about career advancement or personal success) is written really grinds my gears. I just wonder if these authors are serious or if they know what a joke this kind of “advice” is! (PS – I’m not typically an internet comment dweller but there are some real gems on that article if you need an even bigger laugh – although, I am pretty humorous.)

What’s the last article you read that gave you a good laugh?

May 7, 2014
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