I’m hotter without you.

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I have been a little out of touch over the past week because I’m dealing with the break-up – again. If you’ve been reading since the start, you’ll remember that Sixx and I actually broke up in October 2012, right after I moved out of Michigan. While we never “officially” got back together, I felt that the only thing that changed was our title. I was (and am) still madly in love with him. There was this quote from an episode of American Dreams where Meg Pryor said “I wonder if, when you meet that right person, it feels different at the beginning.” I know it does, because I remember the first time that we met. For five years now, I have known that it would be him. I have spent four years now kissing him, and I chose Cleveland as my first half marathon largely because he would be able to be there with me. We had a great weekend, as our visits always are.

After I got on the plane to leave Ohio, he sent me a text that he is interested in dating a new girl and “felt he owed it to [me]” to tell me.

I’m upset, I’m hurt, I want to kill him, I’m mad at myself – it’s just hard. I went for a long time feeling like I’d always be alone, and then I met him, and we have grown together in such wonderful ways and even when we broke up I was patient and sure of how things would go. And even now, I’m still sure, but I’m so angry.

So – I’ve been quietly trying to deal with it. I’m sorry to spill out my crazy, I’m just tired of sitting with it.