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January: Vacationed in Detroit with Sixx for my birthday, bought my Tiffany earrings, my baby niece is born / February: Finally got to see Ryan Star live, Sixx and I celebrate one official year together / March: I get to visit baby

April: We vacation in Chicago, I give my notice that I’m quitting the shitty job yay! / May: I quit the job, we fly to Los Angeles that night, Sixx gets his first tattoo in LA, I move home to my parents’ and he moves home to his in Ohio / June: my last ride on my favorite coaster before the park tore it down

July: I visit Ohio to see the boys play at Peabody’s and the Agora in Cleveland / August: Family vacation to Gatlinburg, TN, I travel for an interview and am offered the position the next day / September: I’m diagnosed with tendonitis, I move thirteen hours away, Sixx breaks up with me

October: I start running, work my first events at my new job, see Counting Crows at an outdoor venue in a hurricane / November: I fly home, my aunt passes away / December: I spent Christmas with my Ohio family, travel to NE Ohio to see Sixx

I’ve lived in pretty severe pain for most of the year. In September, the night before I made a 13-hour drive to move into my new home, I was diagnosed with tendonitis (in addition to the carpal tunnel syndrome I’ve had for years) and put into a partial cast. It hasn’t resolved in the subsequent months, unfortunately. In addition to that, I had a pretty sizeable filling come out in October, followed by the tooth cracking. (Sorry if that is squicky!) Sans insurance, it would have cost over $3,000 to fix immediately, so my dentist put a temporary fix in place. It’s held out so far, but the pain gets worse every day. My insurance kicks in tomorrow, and I’m hoping to finish all the work on Friday (at which point my entire FSA for the year may well be wiped out… but that’s what it’s for, I guess.)

I lost a lot this year. I lost my aunt. I lost my relationship. I lost friends, and I lost the comfort of home.

To be honest – the year was not great, but that means I have a lot to work at and improve on in 2013. I’m not big on resolutions – I’m not even big on “a new year is a clean slate!” because I think every day is a new chance, but I’m taking this round as a new shot. I’m going to work on knowing that I have enough. I want to call myself on my own bullshit (I’ve been doing this for a couple weeks, and things between Sixx and I have improved dramatically.) And I have all those financial goals as well – but there has to be a point where you take a step back and work on your own mental health. And this might be the year.